Back to Reality...

I sat up in bed covered in sweat, the morning sun just barely peeking out over the horizon, casting a light across the hardwood floor of our bedroom.
Jake slowly rolled over stretching, "What's wrong Ness, did you have another bad dream? You were talking in your sleep all night, tossing and turning.... I wanted to wake you up, but I was just glad you were sleeping at all.." he said.
"Yeah, it's the same dream that's been plaguing me for two weeks", I said, not adding that there had been some new additions to this nightmare..
It had started with a memory, a very pronounced memory, a memory of my Mother marred moments after my birth... It was my first memory of my Mother, and unfortunately time had not touched this particular memory in any way, though I had hoped that it would many times...
Every night for a week I would wake up to this horrible vision of my Mother ending with a faint smile, followed by a look of confusion and pain washing across her face, I would awake disoriented and full of guilt for having caused her so much pain...
But what followed after was no comparison to this vision, I had tossed and turned not able to shake myself from the dream, when I heard a shot fired out, from somewhere, but I could find no source, all of a sudden I looked up and I was in the middle of the forest, in our meadow holding a baby, a baby that had clearly been injured, I could feel my heart shattering as I awoke...
Jake, always with my best interest and hoping to make light of the entire situation, accredited it to watching the nightly news before bed, and maybe that's all it was... but I just wasn't myself lately.
I got up and went into the bathroom at the side of the bedroom to get a glass of water, and Jake followed behind shortly after wrapping his arms around my waist, and lightly kissing me on the neck..
"I really am sorry that you haven't been sleeping well, I wish there was something.... anything I could do to help you", he said.. I turned and lightly pecked him on the cheek.
"I'm sure it will pass, it's just been crazy these last couple of months, once things get settled my insomnia will disappear", I said.
"Well I certainly hope so", he said, lightly tracing his fingertips across the dark circles under my eyes, "I'm ready to get my energetic, feisty Ness back, you've been looking like one of them lately", he said laughing, while forming quotation marks in the air.
I laughed to, mock biting his neck, "I vant to suck your blood...." I said chasing him back to the bedroom..

Later, Jake and I were running through the woods to my parents home when, the most unbelievable bout of fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat down on a cool stone and layed my face in my hands, it took Jake just a few seconds to realize that I wasn't following him anymore, and while I heard him walking back to where I was sitting, I felt like I didn't even have the energy to lift my head to look at him.
Jake knelt down beside me, sympathetically rubbing my hair, "Ness, what's wrong are you not feeling well?".

"No, I'm okay I guess the sleepless nights are starting to catch up to me, that's all. I just got really tired all of a sudden..." I said.
"Do you want to go back and lie down, I'll go let your family know you just needed a little extra rest this morning..", he said.
"No, really I'll be fine", I said standing up I swayed and he caught me by the elbow, balance had never been an issue with me before, of course I had never had a problem sleeping before either, I guess it was affecting me more than I had realized....I felt like my whole equilibrium was off..
Jake slipped off his shorts and transformed into a wolf, carrying me back to my parents house, I could hear my Father playing the piano, a few hundred yards back, and as we approached I knew he heard my thoughts because he switched to my lullaby... My Mother was standing at the back glass watching us approach, and I guess I must have looked about as good as I felt, because one minute I looked up and she was standing at the back glass, the next I could feel her cold hand on my forehead...
"Renesmee, what's the matter, are you sick?" ,she said.
"No, Mom I'm fine I just haven't been sleeping well, you know bad dreams..." ,she looked at me sympathetically, and I knew she understood, although she hadn't slept in about 10 years, the nightmares that plagued her in her formal life were still a pronounced memory..
Carlisle met us at the back door with a worried look on his face, and all I could think was,
"What now?"

As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen