I felt completely helpless as I watched the thin line rise up and down on the thumping monitor, especially considering everyone had just left to hunt. I sat holding her hand as she reassured me that it was "Okay, these things take hours, everyone would be back soon, and all would go as planned."
I tried to talk her through the pain, make sure she was breathing, ask her if she needed anything. I felt as though I was probably more annoying, than a helpful, steady coach.
But, I had never been this nervous in my whole life, I had watched Nessie being born, and it, at the time.. seemed altogether disastrous, there was no way I could witness Ness going through that same ordeal, not if I could help it. I felt as though my whole existence fell around making her happy, and keeping her safe... loving her with everything I had in me.. But, no matter what I did today she would be in pain, and she seemed to be handling that much better than I was...
I watched with adoration as she breathed through each pain, forming some coherency, I began to time the contractions, they had started at about six minutes apart and now, just an hour later, they were coming less than a minute apart..
Granted, I hadn't read all the baby books she had coyly placed around the house, I knew this was progressing rather quickly...
I could see the panic creeping across her face, so I tried to remain as steady as possible, as I looked at the monitor, she watched me gauging my every expression, I tried to smile reassuringly as I screamed in my mind, hoping for once Edward was listening and would get Carlisle back here as quickly as possible.
Ten more minutes passed, a lifetime in vampire time.... a lifetime when you were in the kind of pain Nessie was in right now..
She began breathing more heavily, as she turned and grabbed my arm.. "Jake.... it's time.... you.. have... to help me... no one else..... is here." I robotically shook my head, why did everything in Nessie's life always have to happen so quickly?
I lifted the blanket off of her and tried to gently rub her stomach as she held my hand, she slowly lifted her leg, as I ran my hand down her thigh... Oh yes, it was time, there was no doubt about that... I wasn't exactly skilled in this area, but I wasn't an idiot either.. It was very clear this baby was waiting for no one... Already like it's Mother, I thought..
I let my eyes scan the room, as I searched for gloves, I seen none but I spotted several small blankets, folded up neatly on the bottom of the bedside table, I reached down grabbing one and gently shaking it out... I had never been so scared in my life, but I took a moment to pray for the strength to help my wife through this, and I felt the peace wash over me...
Meanwhile, the pain had taken over and Nessie was on the verge of losing control, I said her name, trying to keep her eyes locked on mine, "Breath Honey, breath.. your gonna have to take some deep breaths okay, the baby's right here, so just try to calm down, okay?"
"Calm Down, Calm Down, Ha. Okay, Jake I'll start working on that then..." I laughed and by the expression on her face that was the wrong thing to do.
"Okay Honey, do you feel like your ready to push?" I asked holding the blanket in both of my hands..
"Uh, huh.." she breathed nodding her head.
"Okay, Nessie" her eyes met mine, "You can do this, I'm right here for you.."
And with three deep breaths, and three big pushes, I looked down into the head full of dark hair of our child... Ness gently lifted her hand, as I placed it on the baby's head, we both smiled, as the tears streamed down her cheeks. With one last deep breath, one great push, I held in this tiny blanket... my Son...
I gently placed him on his Mother's chest as he let out the most beautiful cry I'd ever heard in my life, we both laughed as he quickly blinked... blinked with the same chocolate brown, almond shaped, beautiful eyes of his mother, his grandmother... taking in the room around him... I leaned down to kiss the Mother of my child, wiping the tears from her cheeks and tucking the loose curl behind her ear, she smiled up at me and she had never looked more beautiful.... And, I picked him up taking him to the baby bed Carlisle had placed in the corner of the room to clean him off a little bit, I kept peeking over my shoulder as Renesmee looked perfectly content, surely everyone would be returning any time now? I bundled up the baby, and turned just as Renesmee leaned up vomiting over the side of the bed holding her stomach, writhing in agony...
-Jake
Thursday, September 23, 2010
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