Renesmees Journal: The Dinner...: The house was literally abuzz with preparations for our "family" Thanksgiving dinner. All the hand stamped invites gingerly detailed with br...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Thursday, November 10, 2011
The Dinner...
The house was literally abuzz with preparations for our "family" Thanksgiving dinner. All the hand stamped invites gingerly detailed with brown and orange ribbon had went out. Charlie and Sue, Billy all of our extended family at the reservation, even my grandmother Renee who had politely declined due to a recent decision to go vegetarian and completely boycott the killing of innocent turkeys and therefore would not be eating anyway. Little did she know she wouldn't be the only one not partaking in this particular meal...
Alice had spent days hand picking the perfect linens and floral arrangement. The house was filled with warmth and laughter and Jake was salivating like a beast at the smells wafting from the kitchen, taking every opportunity to butter Esme up with compliment at the hopes of digging in a little early, to no avail. Only to be sent back to the living room with the children and the Thanksgiving Day parade. As the last gigantic balloon made its way through time square, and Jake and Mason nearing irritability at the prospect of waiting any longer to eat the door bell rang. My mother met me at the foot of the stairs, in what appeared to be on fleeting movement I barely caught out of the corner of my eye, and we opened the door to welcome Charlie and Sue. A faint hint of gray playing around his temples, he pulled me into a bear hug, I backed away as my Mother ever so gently embraced Sue.
"Bells", Charlie said "looking the... same" he smiled.
"Thanks Dad", she smiled back.
I'd watched her during each visit this year the realization of Charlie's aging seemed to be dawning on her more prevalently each time. This was the part of "our world" that hit the hardest...
But today wasn't a day for that, today was for being thankful for each moment, no matter how fleeting. And, so as we welcomed each guest and settled in for dinner, my Father took the opportunity to welcome each of them to our home. Expressing gratitude to them for sharing this special day and them settled in to watch everyone else enjoy their meal. The hint of a smile playing on his lips as he ever so subtly winked at my Mother. They would be partaking in their feast later. I looked around at all the faces. My family, their pale faces, beautifully carved dancing in the candlelight and the other side of the table, warm brown skin, and once stoic faces in our presence laughing along glowing just the same. There was no other word to describe each and everyone present at this feast than family. I couldn't think of a better way to spend Thanksgiving...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Alice had spent days hand picking the perfect linens and floral arrangement. The house was filled with warmth and laughter and Jake was salivating like a beast at the smells wafting from the kitchen, taking every opportunity to butter Esme up with compliment at the hopes of digging in a little early, to no avail. Only to be sent back to the living room with the children and the Thanksgiving Day parade. As the last gigantic balloon made its way through time square, and Jake and Mason nearing irritability at the prospect of waiting any longer to eat the door bell rang. My mother met me at the foot of the stairs, in what appeared to be on fleeting movement I barely caught out of the corner of my eye, and we opened the door to welcome Charlie and Sue. A faint hint of gray playing around his temples, he pulled me into a bear hug, I backed away as my Mother ever so gently embraced Sue.
"Bells", Charlie said "looking the... same" he smiled.
"Thanks Dad", she smiled back.
I'd watched her during each visit this year the realization of Charlie's aging seemed to be dawning on her more prevalently each time. This was the part of "our world" that hit the hardest...
But today wasn't a day for that, today was for being thankful for each moment, no matter how fleeting. And, so as we welcomed each guest and settled in for dinner, my Father took the opportunity to welcome each of them to our home. Expressing gratitude to them for sharing this special day and them settled in to watch everyone else enjoy their meal. The hint of a smile playing on his lips as he ever so subtly winked at my Mother. They would be partaking in their feast later. I looked around at all the faces. My family, their pale faces, beautifully carved dancing in the candlelight and the other side of the table, warm brown skin, and once stoic faces in our presence laughing along glowing just the same. There was no other word to describe each and everyone present at this feast than family. I couldn't think of a better way to spend Thanksgiving...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Holidays...
So with Mason's recovery and the threat of an impending attack from the Volturi put to a temporary halt (if there was such a thing in our world) the family could settle into a temporary routine. No matter how many precautions we took it was unrealistic to think we'd be able to stay here forever. Still, time must march on and as the days turned into weeks and weeks to months... as it so often does when immortality lies stretched out ahead of you. Mason grew stronger each day and Elizabeth thrived forever the budding fashionista under Alice's watchful eye. I focused all of my attention on spending time with Jake and the family, I mean what are holidays for? With Halloween just behind us, the kids of course dressing up as everyone's favorite cinematic impression of a Vampire; plastic glow in the dark fangs in tow. And, now Esme and Alice sat in deep conversation around the dining room table discussing what I'm sure will be the most amazing Thanksgiving the town of Forks has ever seen. I listened intently watching my Mother sitting in Dad's arm stroking Lizzie's hair while the latest episode of the newest vampire show was on tv, the synchronized giggles at the brooding teenage vampire. I could hear the faint sound of Emmett and Mason upstairs thoroughly enjoying a football game, Jake apparently taking a break jogged down the stairs. Walking up he tucked a loose curl behind my ear, gently kissing my lips...
I showed him how thank I was for our amazing families, a single tear falling down my cheek. As he caught it on his thumb and wrapped his arms around my waist he said "Me too Ness, me too."
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
I showed him how thank I was for our amazing families, a single tear falling down my cheek. As he caught it on his thumb and wrapped his arms around my waist he said "Me too Ness, me too."
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Is it over yet?
It had been less than 24 hours since the whole ordeal began, and I felt as though I could sit back and watch it rerun through my mind as if it had taken a year to get us where we were today...
I sat on the edge of the bed, the bed holding my son, slowly but surely recovering from a life threatening gun shot wound. A wound that his father and I would forever secretly question was caused by a moment of carelessness, a moment that will fill our minds when we're lying in bed at night, quietly in each other's arms. Wondering.... wondering if the other person still writhes over the guilt.
But, somewhere by the grace of God, he pulled through. And, together we would also. And, now we had the task at hand of waiting, and watching the expressions of my father. A window to Lizzie's only attempt at keeping our mystical world... our way of life a secret. Resting on the shoulders of a child, not even a child an infant by the chronological sense of the word... I watched him intently analyzing their walk to the door... Waiting to examine every detail through Alice's thoughts...
And, I felt like I might lose it, if ever there had been a time I wished I could pick apart my father's brain it would be now. I started biting my nails, a response to the nervousness. And Jake leaned down, calmly wrapping my hand in his giant palm. "She's going to be fine Ness, I have faith in her..."
"The hunter's just answered the door, they're clearly still a little shook up. But...but they haven't called the police. I've been watching their thoughts, and they've done as Carlisle advised. Elizabeth's making her presentation." he smiled, "Ahh, she's added a slight lisp for dramatic affect. And, Alice is pouring on the charm..."
"They've agreed to buy whatever she has", he said smiling. "Oops, and Alice just dropped the cookies", he said looking confused.... "Ahh, I see. Very clever that one." he paused, chuckling...
"What? What? Dad, seriously your killing me." I said.
"Well, she started crying as all the cookies fell, Alice shouted oh my and both men bent to help pick them up. Right in Lizzie's eyesight..."
"Ahh, I see..." I said, watching my father's expression change from one of complete diligence, to a man who'd been set free. It was over... The nightmarish 24 hours was finished. In a family full of bloodthirsty vampires, and shift shaping, 7 foot tall werewolves, our fate landed on the shoulders of a dainty, little girl with my bronze hair and her father's round nose. And, well... she kicked butt!!!
My father burst out in laughter, reading this thought. And, I jumped up accidentally waking Mason out of his sleep, wrapping my arms around Jake. After kissing him on the lips and my sweet Mason on the forehead. I took a minute to..... breath...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
I sat on the edge of the bed, the bed holding my son, slowly but surely recovering from a life threatening gun shot wound. A wound that his father and I would forever secretly question was caused by a moment of carelessness, a moment that will fill our minds when we're lying in bed at night, quietly in each other's arms. Wondering.... wondering if the other person still writhes over the guilt.
But, somewhere by the grace of God, he pulled through. And, together we would also. And, now we had the task at hand of waiting, and watching the expressions of my father. A window to Lizzie's only attempt at keeping our mystical world... our way of life a secret. Resting on the shoulders of a child, not even a child an infant by the chronological sense of the word... I watched him intently analyzing their walk to the door... Waiting to examine every detail through Alice's thoughts...
And, I felt like I might lose it, if ever there had been a time I wished I could pick apart my father's brain it would be now. I started biting my nails, a response to the nervousness. And Jake leaned down, calmly wrapping my hand in his giant palm. "She's going to be fine Ness, I have faith in her..."
"The hunter's just answered the door, they're clearly still a little shook up. But...but they haven't called the police. I've been watching their thoughts, and they've done as Carlisle advised. Elizabeth's making her presentation." he smiled, "Ahh, she's added a slight lisp for dramatic affect. And, Alice is pouring on the charm..."
"They've agreed to buy whatever she has", he said smiling. "Oops, and Alice just dropped the cookies", he said looking confused.... "Ahh, I see. Very clever that one." he paused, chuckling...
"What? What? Dad, seriously your killing me." I said.
"Well, she started crying as all the cookies fell, Alice shouted oh my and both men bent to help pick them up. Right in Lizzie's eyesight..."
"Ahh, I see..." I said, watching my father's expression change from one of complete diligence, to a man who'd been set free. It was over... The nightmarish 24 hours was finished. In a family full of bloodthirsty vampires, and shift shaping, 7 foot tall werewolves, our fate landed on the shoulders of a dainty, little girl with my bronze hair and her father's round nose. And, well... she kicked butt!!!
My father burst out in laughter, reading this thought. And, I jumped up accidentally waking Mason out of his sleep, wrapping my arms around Jake. After kissing him on the lips and my sweet Mason on the forehead. I took a minute to..... breath...Sunday, February 27, 2011
Getting the fever!!!!
Lately i've been seeing all kinds of Breaking Dawn movie related photos and I can't......WAIT!!!!!
I am eagerly counting down the days till the movie hits theaters, but until then I wanted to share some of my favorites i've seen floating around out there : )
I am eagerly counting down the days till the movie hits theaters, but until then I wanted to share some of my favorites i've seen floating around out there : )
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
You can click on over to facebook, and vote like on the link below, to vote for the above image on Stephenie Meyer's fanpage Valentine's Card Contest!!! Hope you like it, I thought it was a beautiful photo : )
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=198917416790842
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A Lifesaver...
Alice came twirling back into view, as Lizzie rolled her eyes....
She was holding a lovely, little Girl Scout uniform in the most putrid shade of green... I knew it was probably paining Alice just to loop her finger through the hanger, but desperate times called for desperate measures...
"Now run upstairs and get dressed while I grab Bella, and we'll be on our way..." Alice said, another eye roll from Lizzie, "Scoot!!! Shoo-shoo."
As Lizzie painstakingly walked up the stairs, I knew it wasn't just the green smock, she was nervous. "Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Renesmee, I can't believe you would question my judgement..." knowing that not only were Jake and I out of her element, but containing our genes so were Mason and Elizabeth, she knew I had reason to worry...
She wrapped her stone cold arms around my shoulders, ever so gently and oddly comforting while I lay my head on her shoulder, "Ness, I would NEVER put your children in harm's way, I only wish that I had been able to see this whole ordeal before it ever happened so we wouldn't even be discussing this right now... I will be waiting in the car, and your mother's going to walk her up to the door, I promise it will be fine..." she said, "Please don't worry, besides your father's going to watch Elizabeth's thoughts every step of the way, so we're only a heartbeat away if something should happen."
I raised my eyebrows at her choice of words as Lizzie and my mom came down the steps, "Well, are you ready?" my mother asked Alice.
"Ready when you are!" she said.
I leaned down and kissed Lizzie on the forehead, as Jasper came in the room, "I have complete faith in you honey, I know you can do this. Grandma and Auntie Alice will be there with you every step of the way..." She nodded her head, and I watched amazed as always, while Jasper concentrated his eyes ever so carefully on her and the little frown line between her beautiful, brown eyes faded away as she bounced toward the garage door...
I went up to sit with Mason and listen to his soothing heartbeat on the monitor, hoping it would be enough to keep me calm until this endeavor was over, and my father sat in the corner of the room in a rocking chair, listening, looking as intent as he did in that chair a little over ten years ago when we were faced with a whole different set of challenges.
My poor dad... my poor family, would they ever catch a break as long as they lived this extraordinary life, and then again as I lay my hand on Mason's neck, sending sweet dream filled images through his mind... perhaps it was a small price to pay for such a beautiful existence....
"Yes," my father said, "Yes, it is..."
Jake wrapped his arms around me, finally slightly rested and kissed the top of my head, as the image of Elizabeth filled my father's mind.... they were there...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
She was holding a lovely, little Girl Scout uniform in the most putrid shade of green... I knew it was probably paining Alice just to loop her finger through the hanger, but desperate times called for desperate measures...
"Now run upstairs and get dressed while I grab Bella, and we'll be on our way..." Alice said, another eye roll from Lizzie, "Scoot!!! Shoo-shoo."
As Lizzie painstakingly walked up the stairs, I knew it wasn't just the green smock, she was nervous. "Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Renesmee, I can't believe you would question my judgement..." knowing that not only were Jake and I out of her element, but containing our genes so were Mason and Elizabeth, she knew I had reason to worry...
She wrapped her stone cold arms around my shoulders, ever so gently and oddly comforting while I lay my head on her shoulder, "Ness, I would NEVER put your children in harm's way, I only wish that I had been able to see this whole ordeal before it ever happened so we wouldn't even be discussing this right now... I will be waiting in the car, and your mother's going to walk her up to the door, I promise it will be fine..." she said, "Please don't worry, besides your father's going to watch Elizabeth's thoughts every step of the way, so we're only a heartbeat away if something should happen."
I raised my eyebrows at her choice of words as Lizzie and my mom came down the steps, "Well, are you ready?" my mother asked Alice.
"Ready when you are!" she said.
I leaned down and kissed Lizzie on the forehead, as Jasper came in the room, "I have complete faith in you honey, I know you can do this. Grandma and Auntie Alice will be there with you every step of the way..." She nodded her head, and I watched amazed as always, while Jasper concentrated his eyes ever so carefully on her and the little frown line between her beautiful, brown eyes faded away as she bounced toward the garage door...
I went up to sit with Mason and listen to his soothing heartbeat on the monitor, hoping it would be enough to keep me calm until this endeavor was over, and my father sat in the corner of the room in a rocking chair, listening, looking as intent as he did in that chair a little over ten years ago when we were faced with a whole different set of challenges.
My poor dad... my poor family, would they ever catch a break as long as they lived this extraordinary life, and then again as I lay my hand on Mason's neck, sending sweet dream filled images through his mind... perhaps it was a small price to pay for such a beautiful existence....
"Yes," my father said, "Yes, it is..."
Jake wrapped his arms around me, finally slightly rested and kissed the top of my head, as the image of Elizabeth filled my father's mind.... they were there...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Stephenie Meyer Writing Contest...
You can click over and vote for my writing contest entry on Stephenie Meyer's official facebook fansite by clicking the link below : )
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=195743050441612
I hope you like it, and get a chance to vote : )
Beth
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=195743050441612
I hope you like it, and get a chance to vote : )
Beth
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Erase...
I glanced between my parents, both of their topaz eyes dancing in the lamplight, what did they know about my daughter that I didn't. I felt a little wave of guilt wash over me as I realized, I had been so consumed with the babies, that I wondered if I had taken the time to really know them.
Their lives were filled with what ifs, Jake and I had felt it, obsessed over it, meanwhile they were flourishing and growing everyday... Becoming beautiful, smart, amazing creatures... glorious in their own right. So, what had I missed? My father lay his hand on my shoulder... "Nothing, Elizabeth's done a very good job concealing her gift, I wouldn't have had any idea myself had I not been able to read her thoughts, and yet... Well, you'll see.. she's waiting for you downstairs.."
I looked back over my shoulder at Mason, lying unconscious, his face resting on my palm... "It's okay, we'll be right here if he wakes up.." my mother said.
I shook my head and gently stood up heading downstairs...
Alice was standing next to Lizzie, slightly bouncing with excitement, and I felt some of the anxiety and guilt wash away. I smiled at my daughter and knelt down wrapping my arms around her, "It's been quite a day hasn't it?" I asked.
"Mmmhmm," she said, "How's Mason?"
"He's asleep, and so is your dad... we should probably let them rest for a while, they definitely need it.."
I could tell she was getting annoyed with the conversation, and her little eyebrows furrowed at the thoughts of telling me what was going on.. not to mention Alice was about to burst out of her skin!!
"Well..." I said.
"Umm" Elizabeth mumbled, quickly being interrupted by Alice.
"Well, as you know Lizzie is a very special and amazing creature, and in light of Mason's quickly blossoming... shall we say "talents", we all waited anxiously wondering what her gift would be.. I mean in light of such supernatural circumstances, we all knew it would be something amazing, but we never guessed, I mean who could have thought... Of course with her grandfather's ability to read minds, and your ability to impose your thoughts, and Bella's ability to--"
"Alice!!! Get to the point please..."
"I'm sorry I was rambling wasn't I, well anyway" she took a deep breath, "Lizzie can erase memories..." she said smiling.
I looked at her stunned, "So.." Alice continued, were going to take a little trip, and take care of this predicament we've found ourselves in today."
"Wait a minute, couldn't that be a little dangerous, not to mention what are we planning to do here, march over and leave to men without any recollection of where or who they are?"
I looked at Lizzie nervously, protectively, as she raised her hand and slightly opened her mouth to speak-- once again interrupted by Alice...
"Well, that's just it, we've been practicing... Lizzie, your mother and I, and she has amazing control over her gift, she's able to pick their brain apart, so to speak, and can manipulate individual memories... Even on your mother, which as you know is no small feat. I mean her power is unmatchable, I've never seen a gift honed so perfectly at such a young age..."
I tried not to concentrate for a moment on being hurt by the fact, that she had confided in Alice and my mother and not me, but in light of what she was about to do that seemed insignificant..
"So what's the plan?" I asked.
Alice smiled, "Well, your mother's going to accompany Lizzie to the hunter's house, I've been watching them, and they've listened to Carlisle's advice, the authorities haven't been contacted yet, and Lizzie will take care of the problem..."
"And, how exactly does this work?" I asked.
"Well..." Elizabeth said. "It's probably easier for me to show you than tell you..."
"Okay, I'm ready" I said.
"Here" Alice handed me a piece of paper, with a short poem written on it, "Read that, memorize it, and Lizzie will remove it from your memory...I know this is overwhelming, but concentrate Renesmee..."
I read the poem... memorized it...."Okay" ,I said.
Lizzie walked over, reluctantly standing before me...
"You can do it Elizabeth, just believe in yourself..." Alice said.
She took a deep breath closing her eyes, and looked up at me... my eyes met hers and for the briefest instance their was a flash in her eyes, almost undetectable even to me, and I had no recollection of the poem...
"Whoa.." I said.
"Whoa.." Lizzie said, "It worked..."
Alice broke the moment, giddily clapping and hopping around. "Okay, I'll just let your mother know and we'll be on our way..."
"Wait, are you just gonna waltz right in there and erase their memory, you all can be a little intimidating you know?" I said.
"Now, Nessie you know we have a plan.." Alice said, dancing away to grab something on a hanger out of the closet." and all I could do was laugh...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Their lives were filled with what ifs, Jake and I had felt it, obsessed over it, meanwhile they were flourishing and growing everyday... Becoming beautiful, smart, amazing creatures... glorious in their own right. So, what had I missed? My father lay his hand on my shoulder... "Nothing, Elizabeth's done a very good job concealing her gift, I wouldn't have had any idea myself had I not been able to read her thoughts, and yet... Well, you'll see.. she's waiting for you downstairs.."
I looked back over my shoulder at Mason, lying unconscious, his face resting on my palm... "It's okay, we'll be right here if he wakes up.." my mother said.
I shook my head and gently stood up heading downstairs...
Alice was standing next to Lizzie, slightly bouncing with excitement, and I felt some of the anxiety and guilt wash away. I smiled at my daughter and knelt down wrapping my arms around her, "It's been quite a day hasn't it?" I asked.
"Mmmhmm," she said, "How's Mason?"
"He's asleep, and so is your dad... we should probably let them rest for a while, they definitely need it.."
I could tell she was getting annoyed with the conversation, and her little eyebrows furrowed at the thoughts of telling me what was going on.. not to mention Alice was about to burst out of her skin!!
"Well..." I said.
"Umm" Elizabeth mumbled, quickly being interrupted by Alice.
"Well, as you know Lizzie is a very special and amazing creature, and in light of Mason's quickly blossoming... shall we say "talents", we all waited anxiously wondering what her gift would be.. I mean in light of such supernatural circumstances, we all knew it would be something amazing, but we never guessed, I mean who could have thought... Of course with her grandfather's ability to read minds, and your ability to impose your thoughts, and Bella's ability to--"
"Alice!!! Get to the point please..."
"I'm sorry I was rambling wasn't I, well anyway" she took a deep breath, "Lizzie can erase memories..." she said smiling.
I looked at her stunned, "So.." Alice continued, were going to take a little trip, and take care of this predicament we've found ourselves in today."
"Wait a minute, couldn't that be a little dangerous, not to mention what are we planning to do here, march over and leave to men without any recollection of where or who they are?"
I looked at Lizzie nervously, protectively, as she raised her hand and slightly opened her mouth to speak-- once again interrupted by Alice...
"Well, that's just it, we've been practicing... Lizzie, your mother and I, and she has amazing control over her gift, she's able to pick their brain apart, so to speak, and can manipulate individual memories... Even on your mother, which as you know is no small feat. I mean her power is unmatchable, I've never seen a gift honed so perfectly at such a young age..."
I tried not to concentrate for a moment on being hurt by the fact, that she had confided in Alice and my mother and not me, but in light of what she was about to do that seemed insignificant..
"So what's the plan?" I asked.
Alice smiled, "Well, your mother's going to accompany Lizzie to the hunter's house, I've been watching them, and they've listened to Carlisle's advice, the authorities haven't been contacted yet, and Lizzie will take care of the problem..."
"And, how exactly does this work?" I asked.
"Well..." Elizabeth said. "It's probably easier for me to show you than tell you..."
"Okay, I'm ready" I said.
"Here" Alice handed me a piece of paper, with a short poem written on it, "Read that, memorize it, and Lizzie will remove it from your memory...I know this is overwhelming, but concentrate Renesmee..."
I read the poem... memorized it...."Okay" ,I said.
Lizzie walked over, reluctantly standing before me...
"You can do it Elizabeth, just believe in yourself..." Alice said.
She took a deep breath closing her eyes, and looked up at me... my eyes met hers and for the briefest instance their was a flash in her eyes, almost undetectable even to me, and I had no recollection of the poem...
"Whoa.." I said.
"Whoa.." Lizzie said, "It worked..."
Alice broke the moment, giddily clapping and hopping around. "Okay, I'll just let your mother know and we'll be on our way..."
"Wait, are you just gonna waltz right in there and erase their memory, you all can be a little intimidating you know?" I said.
"Now, Nessie you know we have a plan.." Alice said, dancing away to grab something on a hanger out of the closet." and all I could do was laugh...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Saturday, January 22, 2011
What's Next...
It took over an hour to get the bullet out of Mason's shoulder... It was another day before he was in a stable condition... It all felt like a dream.. a nightmare.
I remember passing out against Jake, listening to the gentle thud of his heartbeat, hearing in my subconcsious the acceleration with every high and low of Mason's recovery... him whispering in my ear through salty, warm tears that he was going to be alright, but physically not being able to lift myself up to see... Opening my eyes as I watched without thinking, Carlisle and my father working feverishly over Mason, covered in blood...
But I couldn't get up, you needed a heart to function, and mine was broken. I hurt for Mason, and Elizabeth, neither of which had any control over this crazy world we had brought them into.. I hurt for Jake, who fell in love with a woman who carried the baggage that I brought and all that it ensued... I hurt for my family who would have happily continued their feud with the werewolves till the end of time, and now were with them every waking hour... talking, laughing, operating, caring.... loving them..
The only guest present at this pity party was me, my family.... my family was thankful for their relationship with the werewolves, thankful for my family, Jake's family... our amazing children, our future's, to which they dedicated much thought everyday, Jake, who had never been happier than he was since the birth of our children...
And, I realized, it wasn't just the extraordinary that had to deal with things beyond their control... Everyone had to hold their head high and make it through problems, especially those with children...
This was never more true than on this day, and I would never give my children something broken, I slowly worked in my subconscious to piece my broken heart back together, pull myself back up... I felt Jake sleeping under my cheek, and tried to lift myself as carefully as possible. I rubbed my eyes and saw Mason watching me, my father by his side.
"I told him he should rest, but he was worried about you.." my father said.
I laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing his shaggy hair from his brow... he looked so much like his father..."You, were worried about me? Honey, I'll be fine you need to get some rest."
"Well, I know you worry about me Ma, and you were talking and tossing and turning in your sleep, you only do that when your really worried... So, I couldn't sleep until I knew you were okay..." he said, letting his eyes full of worry, sheepishly look away from my face...
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, and I took a deep breath, not wanting to let him see the pain... and love... "Mason, you are one crazy kid... and I love you.." I said, wiping a tear from his cheek, "I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, you get some rest, okay."
He gently shook his head, and lay his face into my hand, immediately slipping into unconsciousness... Just like his father, I thought laughing...
I could breath now, I looked up into my father's eyes, filled with understanding... and next to him Leah was passed out, snoring sitting straight up in a chair, her hand resting on Mason's leg...
"I tried to get her to go lie down, but she growled at me..." my father said, he stood up kissing me on the forehead, smoothing my hair... and I felt my mother come in and lay her hand on my other arm, I could feel the cool touch of her skin through my sweater and was instantly comforted.. I leaned into her, hugging her as she stroked my hair...
"How did it go with Charlie?" I asked leaning back...
I saw the glance between my father and she, and looked at him, a playful glint, shimmering in his eye...
"Well...." she said, "Apparently, Elizabeth's been keeping a few things to herself these days..."
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
I remember passing out against Jake, listening to the gentle thud of his heartbeat, hearing in my subconcsious the acceleration with every high and low of Mason's recovery... him whispering in my ear through salty, warm tears that he was going to be alright, but physically not being able to lift myself up to see... Opening my eyes as I watched without thinking, Carlisle and my father working feverishly over Mason, covered in blood...
But I couldn't get up, you needed a heart to function, and mine was broken. I hurt for Mason, and Elizabeth, neither of which had any control over this crazy world we had brought them into.. I hurt for Jake, who fell in love with a woman who carried the baggage that I brought and all that it ensued... I hurt for my family who would have happily continued their feud with the werewolves till the end of time, and now were with them every waking hour... talking, laughing, operating, caring.... loving them..
The only guest present at this pity party was me, my family.... my family was thankful for their relationship with the werewolves, thankful for my family, Jake's family... our amazing children, our future's, to which they dedicated much thought everyday, Jake, who had never been happier than he was since the birth of our children...
And, I realized, it wasn't just the extraordinary that had to deal with things beyond their control... Everyone had to hold their head high and make it through problems, especially those with children...
"To have a child is to make a conscious decision for ones heart to walk outside of their body..."
This was never more true than on this day, and I would never give my children something broken, I slowly worked in my subconscious to piece my broken heart back together, pull myself back up... I felt Jake sleeping under my cheek, and tried to lift myself as carefully as possible. I rubbed my eyes and saw Mason watching me, my father by his side.
"I told him he should rest, but he was worried about you.." my father said.
I laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing his shaggy hair from his brow... he looked so much like his father..."You, were worried about me? Honey, I'll be fine you need to get some rest."
"Well, I know you worry about me Ma, and you were talking and tossing and turning in your sleep, you only do that when your really worried... So, I couldn't sleep until I knew you were okay..." he said, letting his eyes full of worry, sheepishly look away from my face...
I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, and I took a deep breath, not wanting to let him see the pain... and love... "Mason, you are one crazy kid... and I love you.." I said, wiping a tear from his cheek, "I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, you get some rest, okay."
He gently shook his head, and lay his face into my hand, immediately slipping into unconsciousness... Just like his father, I thought laughing...
I could breath now, I looked up into my father's eyes, filled with understanding... and next to him Leah was passed out, snoring sitting straight up in a chair, her hand resting on Mason's leg...
"I tried to get her to go lie down, but she growled at me..." my father said, he stood up kissing me on the forehead, smoothing my hair... and I felt my mother come in and lay her hand on my other arm, I could feel the cool touch of her skin through my sweater and was instantly comforted.. I leaned into her, hugging her as she stroked my hair...
"How did it go with Charlie?" I asked leaning back...
I saw the glance between my father and she, and looked at him, a playful glint, shimmering in his eye...
"Well...." she said, "Apparently, Elizabeth's been keeping a few things to herself these days..."
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Crushing Blow...
I heard the bang... felt the vibration of it rip through the forest, my vampire senses kicked in as my eyes scanned the forest I saw where it had came from, just as Mason let out the most horrid moaning sound I'd ever heard and his weight fell against me.
Jake lunged through the air and a hissing sound spewed from Elizabeth. I looked at Jake and I could tell he didn't yet know what was happening yet, I was the only one that saw the two hunters in the midst of the trees, but I couldn't speak.... couldn't feel. All I knew was that they saw what would appear to anyone, to be a wolf attacking a young woman in the woods. I knew that, that would raise questions, and I had to protect him. I felt a cold hand against my arm, as I looked into my father's eyes, full of pain... the hunter's had retreated into the woods, my father could hear their thoughts and they were leaving to inform the police...
He lifted Mason in his arms and we started back to the house, Jake following ahead and my mother trailing from behind...
We ran and I realized we weren't alone, of course Jake would have let them know what was happening and we were being flanked by wolves in every direction...
And as thankful as I was for them, right now I hated them and everything they stood for.... my Son.....my heart...
"The hunter's..." I said.
"Carlisle's casually running into them on a nature walk and taking their account right now..." my father said.
My eyes fell to the faint trail of blood following my father as he ran to the house...I could feel the calm slipping and prayed that God would help me hold on, just a little longer...I had to keep repeating just a little longer...
We got Mason home, and just as we all knew he had started to heal... unfortunately this was a bad thing since the bullet was still lodged in his left shoulder. We cleaned him the best we could, applying pressure to the wound, as we waited the ten painstaking minutes for Carlisle to return..
He came in requesting that Mason be moved to his office... he would have to operate. My father followed him upstairs holding Mason, unconscious and breathing shallowly, Carlisle worked feverishly gathering his supplies, while he recounted the conversation he'd had with the hunter's in his head...
"They recognized him, knew he was a Doctor at the hospital. He informed them he had seen the whole scenario and called the authorities, Animal Control... 911. He took their names and told them they would be contacted..."
This meant that Charlie, in his love for me and our children, was about to get alot more involved in our "world" than any of us had ever hoped, in fact my mother was there now as we speak. This had to be kept quiet, the Volturi knew of our relationship with the wolves and anything involving them in this area would definetley warrant a visit...
But, the time for that was not now... Now, Carlisle was about to operate on my Son, and the freakish calm that had fell over me since the incident, shattered like a thousand shards of glass... As, even in unconsciousness Mason screamed out in pain... And I collapsed against Jake....
Jake lunged through the air and a hissing sound spewed from Elizabeth. I looked at Jake and I could tell he didn't yet know what was happening yet, I was the only one that saw the two hunters in the midst of the trees, but I couldn't speak.... couldn't feel. All I knew was that they saw what would appear to anyone, to be a wolf attacking a young woman in the woods. I knew that, that would raise questions, and I had to protect him. I felt a cold hand against my arm, as I looked into my father's eyes, full of pain... the hunter's had retreated into the woods, my father could hear their thoughts and they were leaving to inform the police...
He lifted Mason in his arms and we started back to the house, Jake following ahead and my mother trailing from behind...
We ran and I realized we weren't alone, of course Jake would have let them know what was happening and we were being flanked by wolves in every direction...
And as thankful as I was for them, right now I hated them and everything they stood for.... my Son.....my heart...
"The hunter's..." I said.
"Carlisle's casually running into them on a nature walk and taking their account right now..." my father said.
My eyes fell to the faint trail of blood following my father as he ran to the house...I could feel the calm slipping and prayed that God would help me hold on, just a little longer...I had to keep repeating just a little longer...
We got Mason home, and just as we all knew he had started to heal... unfortunately this was a bad thing since the bullet was still lodged in his left shoulder. We cleaned him the best we could, applying pressure to the wound, as we waited the ten painstaking minutes for Carlisle to return..
He came in requesting that Mason be moved to his office... he would have to operate. My father followed him upstairs holding Mason, unconscious and breathing shallowly, Carlisle worked feverishly gathering his supplies, while he recounted the conversation he'd had with the hunter's in his head...
"They recognized him, knew he was a Doctor at the hospital. He informed them he had seen the whole scenario and called the authorities, Animal Control... 911. He took their names and told them they would be contacted..."
This meant that Charlie, in his love for me and our children, was about to get alot more involved in our "world" than any of us had ever hoped, in fact my mother was there now as we speak. This had to be kept quiet, the Volturi knew of our relationship with the wolves and anything involving them in this area would definetley warrant a visit...
But, the time for that was not now... Now, Carlisle was about to operate on my Son, and the freakish calm that had fell over me since the incident, shattered like a thousand shards of glass... As, even in unconsciousness Mason screamed out in pain... And I collapsed against Jake....
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth QueenPsalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the hornof my salvation, my stronghold.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A New Year...
A New Year...
Refreshing, beautiful, a start-over.. happy... New...
But when life's laid out ahead of you in an endless existence, it's the turning of a page. Another fleeting day on the calendar. And while to most an endless existence, in a brilliant form may seem like a perfect dream... when the looming question of whether or not your children will share this endless existence falls like a dark cloud over your everyday, your every thought.. It's a reminder of how uncertain any life is.. eternal or not...
Their mere existence was playing with fate, their lives were heavily guarded, happy, but heavily guarded. Their were beings beyond the imagination, who would be all to willing to end our happy little lives. Covet them and take them away. Make them their new pets...
So what did this leave us to do besides live as secretly as possible, always on guard and always with the overwhelming thought that in one crashing blow it could all be... over....
The babies had grown over these last few months, they were thriving and learning. Excelling in my father's dutiful studies everyday. They enjoyed their visits from Grandpa Charlie and Sue, they loved their family in La Push. Seth and Leah took them out in the woods everyday teaching them of their Native American heritage. But, they were itching.. itching to get out and explore this world they were reading about. And "Soon" was not good enough for them.
Jake and I had discussed, and we both felt they weren't quite ready to hear of all the dangers that lurked out there. After all knowing of vampires and werewolves would be enough information for anyone to bear in infancy, they didn't need to know of the other world out there..
So for now we satisfied there need to explore with walks through the forest, a little further each day.. always heavily guarded with the pack flanking all around, and usually accompanied by my Mother and Father..
But, I knew with the "Moooooms" increasing everyday the talk was inevitable and I dreaded it, I didn't want them to know how different they were, I mean doesn't every parent just want their child to "fit in" even if that parent thinks the term "fitting in" is as loathsome as they come...
Today, we were on a walk through the snow covered woods, Jake and Mason in their wolf forms and Elizabeth trailing behind daydreaming as always, we had decided with both of us on the walk and my parents hunting nearby that the pack could have a day off, so we were enjoying walking along nonchalantly, knowing that no eyes were on us... Jake and Mason were wrestling in the snow, this was Mason's favorite weather he loved the snow, he would roll in it jumping on his father's back and nibbling at him. Elizabeth watched, occasionally rolling her eyes, (looking very much like my father in doing so, by the way) the sibling rivalry was very intense when one child hit his morphing form at a ridiculously young age and the other was waiting to blossom into her hidden talents everyday..
Mason ran up to Elizabeth, flicking snow in her direction with his tail and letting out a wolfy chuckle, with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, "Ugh!!! Mason, you are such a stooge!!" , she said brushing the snow off her white dressing coat, a totally inappropriate choice, but she shared her Auntie Alice's "Passion for Fashion". Jake and I laughed, which then made us the target for her eye rolling, oh gotta love the age. She trailed on a little further and so swiftly it wouldn't have been detectable to the human eye nailed Mason with a snowball right between the eyes, and he loved it!! Setting forth running giggling and frolicking all around.. They were so silly.. We were all laughing and tossing snow, just enjoying the moment that was sooo needed..
Mason ran up swishing his tail in my face, as I mocked a girly shriek he gently laid his paws against my waist to lick my throat, something he did often to make me laugh, when a loud, cracking bang rippled through the forest floor...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
Refreshing, beautiful, a start-over.. happy... New...
But when life's laid out ahead of you in an endless existence, it's the turning of a page. Another fleeting day on the calendar. And while to most an endless existence, in a brilliant form may seem like a perfect dream... when the looming question of whether or not your children will share this endless existence falls like a dark cloud over your everyday, your every thought.. It's a reminder of how uncertain any life is.. eternal or not...
Their mere existence was playing with fate, their lives were heavily guarded, happy, but heavily guarded. Their were beings beyond the imagination, who would be all to willing to end our happy little lives. Covet them and take them away. Make them their new pets...
So what did this leave us to do besides live as secretly as possible, always on guard and always with the overwhelming thought that in one crashing blow it could all be... over....
The babies had grown over these last few months, they were thriving and learning. Excelling in my father's dutiful studies everyday. They enjoyed their visits from Grandpa Charlie and Sue, they loved their family in La Push. Seth and Leah took them out in the woods everyday teaching them of their Native American heritage. But, they were itching.. itching to get out and explore this world they were reading about. And "Soon" was not good enough for them.
Jake and I had discussed, and we both felt they weren't quite ready to hear of all the dangers that lurked out there. After all knowing of vampires and werewolves would be enough information for anyone to bear in infancy, they didn't need to know of the other world out there..
So for now we satisfied there need to explore with walks through the forest, a little further each day.. always heavily guarded with the pack flanking all around, and usually accompanied by my Mother and Father..
But, I knew with the "Moooooms" increasing everyday the talk was inevitable and I dreaded it, I didn't want them to know how different they were, I mean doesn't every parent just want their child to "fit in" even if that parent thinks the term "fitting in" is as loathsome as they come...
Today, we were on a walk through the snow covered woods, Jake and Mason in their wolf forms and Elizabeth trailing behind daydreaming as always, we had decided with both of us on the walk and my parents hunting nearby that the pack could have a day off, so we were enjoying walking along nonchalantly, knowing that no eyes were on us... Jake and Mason were wrestling in the snow, this was Mason's favorite weather he loved the snow, he would roll in it jumping on his father's back and nibbling at him. Elizabeth watched, occasionally rolling her eyes, (looking very much like my father in doing so, by the way) the sibling rivalry was very intense when one child hit his morphing form at a ridiculously young age and the other was waiting to blossom into her hidden talents everyday..
Mason ran up to Elizabeth, flicking snow in her direction with his tail and letting out a wolfy chuckle, with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, "Ugh!!! Mason, you are such a stooge!!" , she said brushing the snow off her white dressing coat, a totally inappropriate choice, but she shared her Auntie Alice's "Passion for Fashion". Jake and I laughed, which then made us the target for her eye rolling, oh gotta love the age. She trailed on a little further and so swiftly it wouldn't have been detectable to the human eye nailed Mason with a snowball right between the eyes, and he loved it!! Setting forth running giggling and frolicking all around.. They were so silly.. We were all laughing and tossing snow, just enjoying the moment that was sooo needed..
Mason ran up swishing his tail in my face, as I mocked a girly shriek he gently laid his paws against my waist to lick my throat, something he did often to make me laugh, when a loud, cracking bang rippled through the forest floor...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
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