"Yes", I lied.. and I don't know why I even bothered not telling the truth, because I had definitely inherited my Mother's conscience, in the words of George Washington, "I cannot tell a lie".... well I can, but it's absurdly detectable..
Automatically a frown line creased between his eyes, and he raised his eyebrows, "Really, Ness you know you can't pull that over on me."
I rolled my eyes, I really had slept well considering the nightmares that filled my mind, last night was amazing, beautiful, I drifted off to sleep in Jacob's arms after hours of talking and making love, and then I was plagued with visions... visions of my Mother's face, mangled, sweaty, covered in blood, only the lightest, faint smile on her lips.. I knew this memory, knew it well, it was however, the first memory of my Mother, moments after my birth...
I showed Jake this and he sat quietly watching the nights dreams replay in his head, he rolled over placing his hand on my shoulder, rubbing sympathetically.
"Maybe, you are just feeling subconsciously guilty," he said, "But Ness it wasn't your fault, everybody's okay now, and I thank God everyday that your Mother was strong enough to bring such a beautiful person into my life," he said smiling.
"I know your right Jake, and this is our last day here, so I want to have a good time, I'm just going to try to forget about it," surprisingly he didn't call me out this time, because these thoughts would surely plague me all day.
But, all of a sudden a happy thought popped into my mind..
"Jake", I said rolling over kissing his neck, and whispering into his ear,"Soo, today is our last day here, right?"
"Yes", he said, a laugh playing in his voice..
"And we were going to exchange our presents today, right?" I said nibbling at his ear, I could feel the air let out of his lungs, I leaned up on my arm to look at his face, "What Jake, what is it?"
"Well, Ness I don't want you to be mad but I kinda forgot mine at home, what with the wedding and everything, I guess it totally slipped my mind.." he said.
"Oh", I said my face slipping into a subtle pout, I had been looking so forward to not only seeing what Jake had made for me, but giving him his gift as well...
Jake, put one finger under my chin and lifted up my face, I could see a muffled smile on his face, "Just kidding", he said, gently laughing.
"Ah, Jake you..." I said laughing and playfully wrestling with him, he hopped up out of the bed and playfully tossed me over his shoulder running towards the front room, his carry on bag was by the door, so he sat me down and picked up the bag unzipping it, "Wait", I said"I want to exchange them at the same time".
"Okay", he said laughing.
I ran to grab the photo album I had made for him.
We met halfway between the front room and the bedroom, "Okay one, two, three.."
We each produced a book from behind our backs, and both busted out laughing...
"You first", I said.
He took my hand and we sat together in the big, brown, suede chair by the fireplace.
Jake slowly opened his book, "It's a photo album, I had Alice sneak around a little bit and take pictures of us, there's even some from when I was really little, you know she's taken all kinds of photography classes, so I thought it would be the perfect gift", I said.
"Oh, Ness I love it, it is perfect", he said smiling.
He gently kissed my lips, tucking the stray curl behind my ear.
"So you really like it?" I said, raising my eyebrows..
"Of course I do, not that I'd ever want to spend any time away from you," he said " but this would be the perfect companion on a trip..."
I smiled, and kissed his cheek, "Now, is it my turn?", I said, I was bouncing with excitement, growing up with my Father I had become accustomed to gifts, I loved giving and receiving them especially from Jake..
"Go ahead", he said a frown line between his eyebrows, I was confused..
I opened the leather book and on the first page was,
"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..."
He watched my face intently, measuring every expression, I looked up at him, confusion in my eyes..
"I started this book of quotes and thoughts, when Nahuel came to visit, three years ago", he said, growling under his breath.
He lowered his eyes and I knew how much he hated to think about that time...
"It was just a way for me to get my feelings, and thoughts out without going crazy, you know?", he said "It was a confusing time, but this is the most intimate journal I've ever written, and now that your my wife", he said a smile spreading across his face," I wanted to share it with you, it's filled with happy thoughts, and memories, but it starts at one of the darkest times of my life."
I knew all to well how Jake felt about this period in our lives, but it was necessary to get us to where we are today, I knew that now, of course at the time it wasn't ideal for anyone involved, I couldn't help but think back to that time, even though I wish I could have forgotten it everyday...
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen
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