Still Wondering...

I was lying in bed on my stomach my hair laid out all around me looking out into the lush forest, I could hear the river rushing by, increased by the melting snow drifts.. our room was on the south side of the house at the top corner, framed by two glass walls. Even without the keen senses from being a half vampire-half human you couldn't deny the beauty that surrounds us here. It's amazing the color, lights and sounds that filled the forest surrounding our home, it was a perfect setting for the mythical creatures that made up our family and friends here in Forks.. I could only think of one thing more beautiful and he was gently stroking up and down my back, running his hands through my hair...


It was hard to believe that someone so strong, with such big, sure, dependable hands could be so gentle and loving at the same time. He truly was amazing every touch sent a surge through my body that could not be explained with words... we both ran a warmer temperature than average humans yet every touch sent a wave of chills all over my skin, and his.. "You truly are beautiful in the moonlight Ness, well your beautiful all the time, but your skin, your hair.. something about the moonlight just makes it more, more..." he leaned over to kiss me and that was the end of that conversation...

I could tell he was exhausted.. he had ran patrol with Leah and Seth part of the day, and spent half the night up with me so I was glad he was getting some rest now, besides it gave me some time to think. We had spoken to Carlisle earlier in the day about how I had recently been feeling, he wasn't surprised.. I guess my Father had been more concerned than he was letting on.

Carlisle was an amazing Doctor, he couldn't count the endless lives he had saved, he was an amazing human being (yes, I say human being because there's no other way around it, for someone to put everything about themselves on the back burner for no other reason but to help all of mankind, well there's really nothing more humane and noble.) He knew almost as much about vampires as he did about humans, he had certainly tried to help as many of them as possible, tried to show them a better, more decent way to live. But, me I was something all together different to him, truly unique, almost one of a kind.. he tested, poked, prodded, and pondered (as much as I would allow) trying his best to understand and help give any insight he could as to what was expected in my life. But he couldn't find any reason for my sudden aversion to hunting and consuming blood.

"Renesmee, I wish there was something I could tell you, " he said while unwrapping the blood pressure cuff from my arm, "your healthy as a horse, I don't see anything wrong from all of the tests I ran this morning, I'll think about it, do a little research while I'm at the hospital and I'll let you know if I come up with anything," he said. Carlisle was good at keeping calm under enormous amounts of pressure, but I could see a slight glitch of doubt in his eyes, a light nod of his head when exchanging glances with my Father, very subtle but detectable when you knew what to look for..

Right now I'm going to try my best to get some rest, I've been abnormally tired lately, what with just getting home from the honeymoon in Alaska, and not sleeping well, in and out of odd dreams.. I rolled over into the nook of Jacob's side, I fit perfectly here and he was soo warm, he let out a small, muffled growl and lowered his arms around me, I could already feel myself drifting off.....
 
As Always With Love Renesmee Cullen-Black as interpreted by Elizabeth Queen